It's all fun and games until it happens during work. So like, right now for me. I should probably stop tweeting, my boss is looking at me

Jewish Curses May the host put you and your wife in a room with only bunk beds

Public service announcement:

Im not one to call people out publicly but Hillel here gives a masterclass on: A: how to completely ignore context (quote a couple lines of gemara with no commentary) B: how to show you have nothing intelligent to add - resort to ad homonyms ("you're exhausting", "stupid memes")

May every lane you switch into immediately become the slowest lane on the highway.

May the mob figure out how to *checks notes* read your bio. Max Mannis

Antisemites: Israel is a fake country, Jews stole it from the Palestinians. Also antisemites:

Big if true

May you make a meal for a family that just had a baby and put sugar in everything instead of salt (based on a true story that may or not involve my mother in law)

This one goes out to Yeshiva bachurim everywhere

May someone call you in the middle of Tisha B'Av afternoon, waking you up, to ask how your fast is going. Jewish Curses

Dodgers fans Yankees fans 🤝 Our team is really terrible and it doesn't matter that they're in first place

May you accidentally forward a joke to the wrong WhatsApp group Jewish Curses

Baseball tweet: Clayton Kershaw has a 2.63 ERA this season. For comparison, the N.L. leader,* Chris Sale, has a 2.62 ERA. Both of those sentences are ridiculous. *With enough innings to qualify

I've definitely done this before but it's evergreen.

This is all one big curse. How do we make it clear that Shmuley speaks for absolutely no one other than his own delusional self?

Taking my job...