And when every number's a funny number... none of them will be.

Reitired smash player is as real as a bowser jr weakness

i fucking hate bathtime. so fucking stupid and frustrating

"beating a dead horse" isn't as pointless as you might think. its one of the simplest ways to get horse pulp

[walks in covered in crude oil]: sorry I was just downstairs

Every home run is a miracle. Even the ones from our enemies. The ball doesn’t want to do that… the ball seeks a glove

Friday Night...

Awww hell naww he forgot that the universe is littered with local reductions of entropy that increase universal entropy

I just registered for Claim the Crown #123 start.gg/tournament/cla… via @startgg

and what am i supposed to say to this

Yeah sure let’s get mad at the person trying to do something about evil witches haunting the town

Actually, obligatory: Two economists are walking in a forest when they come across a pile of shit. The first economist says to the other “I’ll pay you $100 to eat that pile of shit.” The second economist takes the $100 and eats the pile of shit. They continue walking until

ever since i was little i always wanted to sit in a meeting for an hour and say nothing from my end

is lunch even possible for a boy like me

not to be dramatic but when i accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life

I'm sorry darling, but you know the foghorn soothes my sea madness

remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

wario uptilt is easy prey for the tickle monster