I’ve definitely let go of worrying about what other people think of me, like, I have an OnlyFans. I’ve clearly stopped giving a crap about your opinion of me. It’s liberating and amazing. I’m just out here living my best life with other liberated and really amazing people. ❤️

There’s a huge difference between the guys that I think that are hot because I want to look like them and the guys that I think that are hot because I want to have sex with them. They are never the same guy. If I want to look like you, I’m intimidated and the sex won’t be good.

I hate the question, “What are you into?” With you? I have no idea. We have to find out. I’m not into something because of the act, I’m into something because of the person. That’s what matters. The person.

Finding a hot and single 40-something guy is hard enough without all these 20-somethings chasing us around trying to date us. These punk kids are thinning the age-appropriate herd so I’m out here starving.

Leaning out before 🦃

I’ve yet to hear one good reason why raising healthcare costs for 22 million Americans is a good idea. Letting people die needlessly just to save money will never make sense.

What are you wearing to thanksgiving dinner?

Handsome men flirting with me replenishes my electrolytes.

I think this proves that the Mona Lisa was just Da Vinci in drag.

At Thanksgiving I ATE.

I was eyeing a super hot guy at a Christmas bar…then he ate an entire candy cane in 20 seconds by chewing it up like he was chewing ice. I’m horrified.

ABCDEFG These bitches can’t fuck with me. - Cardi B

Oh you travel internationally every 3 weeks? What’s so bad about your home life that you need to vacate it constantly? Maybe let some people actually get close to you.

My favorite mirror.

Google Maps needs a “gay walking speed” estimated time of arrival option.

A TRADER JOES JUST OPENED IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD. Things are looking up.

Happy Holidays.

Dear Diary: Still in shape. I checked. Again.