I’ll never log off this website

I've felt weird all day today and I couldn't put my finger on why. Just jitters, anxiety, nausea, etc since the moment I woke up. Then I remembered that today the hierarchy of power in the DC universe changed and it all made sense.

We hosted an outdoor viewing of THE SIXTH SENSE and Liz Laribee and I dressed as how we'll eventually die: embarrassed to death at a Renaissance Festival.

Hotels: Hope you had fun! AirBnbs: Before you go, pile sheets in the corner. Shut off the lights. Make sure all mugs are facing the same direction in the cupboard. Hold a freshly killed goose up to the naked moon for an hour. Reconcile with your father. Take your trash with you.

My dad seems to always be watching one TV show that sounds fake. He'll be like, "You should check out Chattanooga Fire. It's a drama about a fireman in Chattanooga who has a secret plutonium mine. It has Debra Winger and that guy from Wings, the dumb one. It's on CBS."

I once dropped a phone and broke the screen a day after I bought it. This would be like if I did that 44 million times in a row.

Y'all laugh at Elon Musk too much. I'm holding my laughter until I see him lurching around stage during season 33 of Dancing With the Stars or doing a Super Bowl commercial for Nationwide Insurance.

This place is a shit show, honestly. Elon, Ye, and Trump aside, trending topics are garbage pails now. I'm gonna be on Hive as jasonrodriguez and I'm on insta as thebombbag. Mostly movies and food and dumb shit.