An algorithm has identified you as fucking dull and thinks you need me in your life.

Sweet welcome card in my hotel room here in Dubai. #eddieredmayne

And house prices in the area immediately went up.

I never asked to do a duet with Paul Weller, so I guess he just really wanted to eat his own shit.

Seems appropriate to point out that it’s “you’re”.

Flogging a dead horse here. store.jamesblunt.com

My long term goal is to be President of England and our nation’s permanent entry for the Eurovision Song Contest. To start this journey, I have registered a new Twitter handle @BluntComplaints.

You’re Beautiful will be 20 years old next year, and you know I’m going to re-release that little bitch.

Ordered the pork. Think my Spanish needs some work.

I’m currently listening to James Blunt book in the car on my 2 hour daily commute and cried my make up off laughing by the time I get to work 😂😂👏🏻👏🏻

Join the B-list, baby. store.jamesblunt.com

Think the lyrics are actually:

“Blunt on your face. Big disgrace.
Touching his willy all over the place.”

Damn - my gig in Helsinki on 7th July has been cancelled because the arena is kaput. Anyone need a wedding singer that weekend?

After a spenny private school education, you’d really hope my sister would be able to string a decent sentence together.

Uh-oh.

It’s always my fault, isn’t it.

Coz I’m singing about my cock.

Even as I type, I can hear the whole world screaming, “NOOOOOOO!!!”

I feel incredibly fortunate to have just been part of an incredible crowd for James Blunt in Cardiff. What a showman, every member of the audience singing along to EVERY song, literally had the whole arena on their feet in seconds! 👏👏

Same time next year?