Yeah I saw those two fine ass men grinding on the truck Benito

That one friend who studied abroad in Barthelona:

cook FOR me not WITH me

having one martini and posting clues on my instagram story

it would just be pictures of me and random cats on both of our phones

imagine having the nerve to Teams me this

From one sweetroll to another... Happy Valentine's Day. ❤️

i make my twitter private everytime too many people are liking my posts as if somehow it keeps me safe like some idiot

i will end relationships over a lack of commitment to a bit

hello!! i slipped a disc again!! congratulate me!!

twitter is telling me i can’t reply to anyone’s DMs so if you messaged me today, goodnight ily2

a man at work brought me the biggest iced coffee thing i’ve ever seen in my life and i downed it so fast that im so zooted i feel like the human equivalent of a yorkie

goodnight, it’s time for me to get my 9 hours of intermittent and terrible quality sleep

i’m flying to another state next month for just one night only to be mean to my internet friends to their face. i love the internet.

never respected a man more in my life than this one right here

do u fw middle aged women who can’t see so they need to use a book light at all times

pls don’t waste your time messaging me for my links!! trust me y’all will know if i had links to share because i would not be quiet about posting these disappointing honkers online

Sunday.