If you dont want a carrot now, put it in a ziplock bag and bury it then you have a treat in 3 years I live alone

Today is actor dutsin Hoffmans birthday: celebrate by eating a carrot and thinking about his body

I thought I saw a baby carrot between a dogs hind legs the other day but when I touched it I think it was not a carrot

When you want a carrot , the best thing to eat is usully a carrot

History's most arousing couple=Rauschenberg & Johns instagram.com/p/dNnSiTC1Kd/

Teaching this poem in the Fall along with several other gems by @dreamburghpa. "Drift" is up at Verse Daily: versedaily.org/2013/drift.sht….

The Mean Girls musical: book by Tina Fey, music by Jeffrey Richmond, lyrics by Nell Benjamin pinterest.com/pin/1097049408… via Pinterest

You read for a part, you feel good about it, you feel confident, then they cast Ben Affleck.

Women shouldn't work outside the home. It's STEVE Jobs, not EVE Jobs.

First day of class today. Nervous tummy!

The holiday negotiations have begun.

want to be "the man" at your football party this nfl season? Easy: bring a plate of raw carrots (no dip)

It is possible to talk on the phone for 2 hour before relizing it is a carrot trust me

“Fetch Clay, Make Man,” a drama by Will Power, is about the meeting between two men who achieved renown during... fb.me/1prAtqmvO

(overheard) student 1: Hey, you wanna take my test for me? Student 2: What class? student 1: Ethics #nojoke

Was just served a coffee by the sleepiest barista I have ever seen #BlackSheepCoffee

OH sleepy barista telling customer about her morning. Not sleepy, stomach flu. Thanks for coming in and sharing, honey! #BlackSheepCoffee

Onion headline: Eric Clapton Wows Audience With Even Slower Version Of ‘Layla’ #lol

Guy parked by me tonight was holding a large, dead, white bird by the neck as he unlocked his car. #oyeSouthDakota

I think team USA thought they were going to an ugly sweater party, not the Olympics.