RIP OZZY

Humans discovering fire to cook meats was peak technology. Everything since then has been a glorified side quest

Love Island but instead of getting sent home the losers have to go to Hate Island

99% of my chat gpt conversations end like this

“Have you seen the Sydney Sweeney ad?”🗣️

Was getting a Diet Dr. Pepper at Sheetz. Didn’t realize a man was waiting at the soda fountain behind me, so I said “Oh, I’m sorry,” & he replied “Honey, you never have to apologize for visiting The Doctor” & it does sort of feel like I encountered God in disguise.

There is no mathematical way Chinese buffets turn a profit when customers like me exist. I am a walking bankruptcy filing.

Am I the only one who remembers that website that donated like one grain of rice for every math problem you do

Feel bad for anyone named Al (Albert) trying to do better in this AI (artificial intelligence) world “Al is learning way too fast” “This picture is obviously Al” “Written by Al” “Al has surpassed human intelligence” “We’re being replaced by Al”

Shoutout melons

Modern rap “music” should be banned from all gym speakers

Big thanks to Ryan Palmer & Palmer Creative Co. for leveling up @GoldenTallow, from luxury packaging + graphics to sharp sales copy in our emails. Ryan has both the design and the words that sell. Highly recommend if you want your brand to stand out.🙏🏼

The political moderation leaving my body this week

It is no longer right vs. left, it is right vs. wrong

When you can lose everything for stating obvious facts but nothing for expressing genuine hatred, society has lost its moral compass.

Vigils mark an ending. Consequence marks a turning point. Without the second, the first becomes an invitation for repetition.

I have been staring at this goddamn Instagram ad trying to figure out what it is trying to sell me and it just keeps getting funnier the longer I cannot figure it out

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.” ― Meg Cabot

You can tell a lot about a person by how they react when someone dies.