Sure I can hear Gove sniggering 🤭

Priti is a nice lady and has never given me a wedgie

With a couple of notable expectations 😉

GO OUT, ENJOY A SAUSAGE. SOD YER GRAN.

Only 6 more sleeps until our Australian-style Christmas 🎄

While the new COVID-19 variant makes it far too dangerous for MPs to attend Parliament, please keep sending your young children to primary school. Happy New Tier 🎉

Getting excited about Turkey joining the EU 😜

Yup, this has aged well. LOL 👍

Where can one get a barbecue in January? #AskingForAFriend 😉

No time to talk about out of control COVID on the Isle of Wight, but check my guitar 🎸

Parody Bob account? Quick and decisive? You have to be kidding?

Quick, decisive sausage action. Good. 👍

Funny how we can land a Rover on Mars but can’t guarantee that the Floating Bridge can cross the River Medina? #MarsPerseverance

Do you like my new Zoom background for Teams?

Hair dye Hastings is the new (acting) Gaffer. This will be fun.

Yup, always been against developers & building on greenfield sites on the Isle of Wight #Newsnight

I endorse this message 👍

I’ll grab my sausage

Shit the bed, they’ve found me 😱

Shit, the Flag-Shaggers are getting hammered 🇬🇧 #reshuffle