Did you hear about the bank robbery a pod of killer whales pulled off? It was perfectly orcastrated.

1984 throwback to Sheriff Buford T. Justice crashing the All-Star Party for Burt Reynolds. Rest in Peace Jackie Gleason & Burt Reynolds.

white people be like don't come to school tomorrow

🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨 The Royal Family are said to be devastated after Prince Andrew's car crash next Wednesday.

Kurt Cobain would’ve turned 59 today. Still wild how “Smells Like Teen Spirit” didn’t just launch Nirvana — it reset rock’s whole timeline. That SNL performance on Jan 11, 1992? Pure electricity. Thanks, Kurt. 🕯️

#seemslegit

Trump needs to refund us all that tarrif money we've been paying!! I expect a check, and it better be from his personal account!! CRY HARDER, BITCH!!! 👀 #jussayin #sorrynotsorry #notmypresident #fuckthatputo #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

Aliens are real, and them tariffs are illegal. So, what comes tomorrow? Anybody care to gander a guess?? 👀 #noseriously #asking4afriend #itsme #immyfriend #myINFAMOUSlife #imINFAMOUS #letsbeINFAMOUStogether #yerdoinitwrong

X is like talking to yourself in public and some random person walks by and agrees with you.

If we just have Austin Hill drive in front of every approaching storm it will literally never hit the track

Again... FYI: If people would just stop going to Arby's, Arby's would probably go away. Thanks for coming to me TedTalk™...

Okay, great. ....but who's paying us, the consumers, back!?!!

Fuck this dude. #notmypresident #fuckthatputo

No worries li'l buddy. I'll grow on ya...

…if the 47 crashes the booth has to say “Uh Oh Spaghettios.” Thank you for coming to our TedTalk. #NASCAR

BREAKING: A push to name one of Chicago’s snowplows “Abolish ICE,” clearly linking the humorous pun to efforts to oppose President Donald Trump’s mass deportation effort, won the city’s annual snowplow naming contest, officials announced. WTTW - Chicago PBS news.wttw.com/2026/02/23/abo…

I’ll save you some time on the State of the Union: • It’s Joe Biden’s fault • Transgender for everyone • Prescription drugs down 1500% • Tariffs are making us rich • Border invasion • We are the hottest country in the world • Canada = 51st state • Some gibberish •

I wish we could trust the SCOTUS to make the right decision here, but just reading that they're willing to listen, tells me it's unlikely...

Éros Brousson In the 35yrs I've lived and worked in and around the Austin metroplex, I've been to exactly ONE *unofficial" SXSW show. Zero regrets. Some things aren't worth the hype, let alone what they want to charge you... #ridefast #takechances #fuqSXSW

I was a full-fledged drinking adult before the first time someone offered me drugs...