If ambien causes racism I bet adderall could solve it!

Real talk, on fourteen occasions I've thrown my hands in the ay-uh even though I wasn't a true play-uh. Feels good to come clean about that. I apologize to anyone I've hurt.

What's not to love? #GetALifeNerds

TRUMP: Putin says he didn’t do it. So I believe the guy. ALSO TRUMP: We can’t be sure this 8-month-old isn’t a sleeper agent for MS-13. Better make him appear in court alone.

If the wall he was talking about was actually around himself I can’t wait till he gets to the “Lock Em Up” part.

This is unacceptable in any context. She was standing still not wanting to be groped and her friend was shoved and restrained. Just awful.

President Donald J. Trump American Trucking "I don't benefit," Trump said of his proposal to cut taxes. Our analysis found the plan could save him $1.1 billion. nyti.ms/2xOENBQ

Cindy M ❌ Omiswims American Trucking So you don’t want our tax dollars? Great! B/c we’d be FINE if we didn’t have to give all the Red States money for welfare and food stamps.

I liked Blade Runner 2049 but its view of the future was too positive.

Tonight...I’m on Curb Your Enthusiasm.. instagram.com/p/BaSG-ceHXMX/

Definitely worth a read! And Joe, my friend, I'll S your D anytime. x.com/joemande/statu…

Currents Collectors Edition. Pre-order now tameimpala.com

Guys, if you're gonna write an article about me being a "failed comedian" maybe don't use a pic of me holding up the Emmy I won for doing comedy? x.com/realDailyWire/…

Exclaiming “I’m a very stable genius!” is totally fine, if you’re Kanye. But even he wouldn’t use an exclamation point.

Awesomeness, thy name is @blainecapatch x.com/pattonoswalt/s…

Marlon Brando (kneeling in the the rain): Hey PRYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

We’re excited to see how customers like General Motors are making Microsoft Teams their hub for teamwork and today we’re sharing what’s next for the product. x.com/OfficeNews/sta…

No need for Russia to employ Belichick tactics. POTUS is giving away the playbook. x.com/TomWellborn/st…

Glad to see Ric Flair being Ric Flair. x.com/RicFlairNatrBo…

Holy grail of Always Sunny memorabilia. x.com/GlennHowerton/…