cereal should come in cartons why are we still doing bag in flimsy box

Can't fall asleep. Thanks to Woke

I HATE washing my hair when it still looks bomb but I can feel it will be greaseville tomorrow being a woman is so hard

thank god there wasn’t social media for all of time imagine how many things we’d have to know

I'm in a group chat with a mail carrier and he shared this letter

[waiting to hear back after a job interview] hey are you mad at me just wondering

Bertha seems like one chill ass heron

I used to care about being hot and successful now I mostly just to know the names of trees

Just stick the q-tip in your ear. God has abandoned us.

“let’s go girls,” she threatened

I’m so scared of society collapsing I’m too soft. if a fork doesn’t have rounded edges it’s too uncomfortable for me to use. removing the last half of meat from a store bought rotisserie chicken makes me gag. I go to the pharmacy 3 times a month. I can’t.

remember when kavanaugh was like “look at my planner see it doesn’t say rape on it” and everyone was like “he’s right it doesn’t”

Seconds after the card game rules are explained