BREAKING: Alderaanian princess on "mercy mission" suffers attack en route. #HoloNet

Alderaanian princess dead from natural causes. "She was our last loyal senator." -- Sen. Antilles, Alderaan. #HoloNet

Well played, Emperor. #HoloNet

Emperor on attempt to nix Senate ethics panel: "Without a space station only the bureaucracy will keep the local systems in line." #HoloNet

Imperial Intelligence reveals that Senate elections have been sliced by Hutt agents. Public opinion remains unconcerned. #HoloNet

Empire releases further proof that Hutt agents sought to influence Imperial Senate elections. Citizens respond by learning Hutt. #HoloNet

Emperor prepares for great inaugural event on Coruscant tomorrow. In his own words: "I will execute hundreds." #HoloNet

The last Jedi identified, targeted for elimination. "We're sure this is the last one this time," claims Moff. #HoloNet

Aliens get uppity. Stormtroopers to be deployed "very soon," Mouth-of-Emperor Bannon hissed at press indoctrination. #HoloNet

Sister of top military commander confirmed to indoctrinate youth. #HoloNet

System with "too many planets" discovered. Imperial scientists "are seeking a solution to this problem," Moff. #HoloNet

#FridayFeeling #HoloNet

Passenger transport company embraces Sith customer service techniques. #HoloNet

Empire battles latest chemtrail conspiracy. #HoloNet #TheLastJedi

From a sister news service. #HoloNet x.com/DPRK_News/stat…

Imperial incursion onto Verpine-held world results in casualties. #HoloNet

"Retired" Imperial Agent codenamed Cipher 007 has died. "He never slept on the Empire's time," Moff Moneycredit. #HoloNet

Ongoing hostilities enters 40th year. Citizens surprisingly still in favor of more of these star wars. #HoloNet

"Jedi" known as "Wonder Woman" sought for questioning. "She will join us... or die," Moff. #HoloNet

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary