I reminded my boss she had a 4pm design mtg and couldn't commit to a 3pm meeting across town. Her: No one asked me if I could do the 4pm mtg. Me: You asked for the meeting 2 weeks ago #shitmybosssays

Could you make the cut? #jobopening #executiveassistant #poopourri Executive Assistant indeed.com/viewjob?from=a…

"He barely tolerates his wife but he loves his hookers" #!@#$mybosssays

"Get me a night with the intern and I'll send you on the trip of your dreams" #!@#$mybosssays

"do these look like CAPERS to you???" - as he throws the capers IN my face. #sh$tmybosssaysanddoes

Me: What on earth do u hv in common w a 21 yr old? Him: Sex and Money. Duh. #shitmybosssays

Him: It's simple really...I'm a f*cking genius and you work for me. #shitmybosssays

Him: F*ck them they're minions who get paid by the hour.

Him: People ask why I left my wife. I say "B/c I can hv a chick on my dick 7 nts a wk and my blowjob #s go up. That's why" #shitmybosssays

"That's why women are secretaries here and all the Execs are men. U do what u do..I'll do what I do" #shitmybosssays

My boss found out he has gonorrhea. I hope that means he has a visible fungus on his wanker and it burns when exposed to oxygen. #karma

Me: She talks a lot Him: that's what panties are for after they hit the floor. #shitmybosssays

Ahhh pedicure....how desperately I needed you.

Why do guys feel the need to tell u or hint at the size of their package? Such a buzz kill.