I've become one of those everyday contact wearers and I never thought I'd turn into one😳

Me: Niko it's national girlfriend day! Niko: I think that was yesterday. Me: you can still post something cute. Niko: .... Me: ....

seriously tho don't let anybody tell u ur ugly. u are sick as fuck just the way u are. and that's fucking awesome

Why do I let people hurt me so bad when I don't even matter to them

Why do you let me cry myself to sleep every night

I'm so over people who don't think anyone else has feelings

Since this is the 2nd time, I feel like I need to address this. Excuse me, but there is no law saying I have to wait in the middle of the intersection for a yellow light SO STOP HONKING AT ME IF I DONT WANNA SIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERSECTION PERSON BEHIND ME!!!!!!

Help me out...

Every 16y/o ever: I GOT MY LICENSE!!! Every 17y/o or older: Wow, better stay off the roads!

Don’t you just hate when you’re forced to ruin a perfect winged eye bc you botched the other one?? 🙄

Can everyone who’s actually attractive and posts selfies pls go to Instagram where they are wanted????? Twitter is for sad bois and gurls with dumb bitch tweets only!!!!!

Here I am doing my laundry like a normal human being, but how could I possibly do it without the help of my mosquito friends? That’s right folks! They’re always there to help! ⚠️beware⚠️

I just realized BOGO is short for buy one get one...

A slap in the face is way more hurtful than a slap on the wrist

If squids could talk they would say squidwards

Dogs can’t operate scanners but catscan

Mountains aren’t funny they are hill areas

Yea giving birth is hard and all, but have you ever had a brain freeze for more than five seconds?