Married to a witch 'pillow talk': *laying in bed* Me: You ever just sit there and think about Banshees? My Husband: *guves a very wtf look* No. I definitely can say that never crosses my mind. Me: Really!? *laying there wondering if he's just bizarre or I am* #witch #witches

Just hit a new parenting level. Changing my son and he farted so hard it sprayed sh*t out far enough to hit me in the face...wtf!?💩😧🤢 So that's how my days going.🙄😑 #parenting #momlife #momproblems #newmom #wtf #Parenthood #thedisrespect #igaveyoulife #shit

#Elections2020 #BidenHarris

Big ass + smaller waist = never finding jeans that fit right. You either have skin tight pants with a waistline that's right or the pants fit well with a basketball hoop side gap in the back of the waistband. Wtf?! #jeans #wtf #bigass #bootydontfitinshit #TheStruggleIsReal

PMS is crying over the IKEA coffee table you put together by yourself. #pms #ikea #hormonesarecrazy #periods #crying #itssobeautiful #emotionalbitch #sendhelp #accomplishments

Is anyone else a cooking fuck up genius? Like you go to cook something and somehow always fuck it up and it still ends up delicious? I try so hard to follow a recipe but almost always moss a step or an ingredient or two then just wing it. It always is good! #fuckup #Cooking #wtf

Are there like specialists who specifically clean for people with mental health issues? Cause seriously I need help but have too much anxiety and embarrassment to have regular cleaners. So I just keep living in filth and feeling worse. #help #mentalhealth #mentalhealthsupport

I didn't know a kid's show could make a person irrationally annoyed until I had my son lol. Some of the songs and cartoons are so bad and have kind of shitty messages. I can't be the only one who watches/listens to kid's stuff and thinks, WTF!? #WTF #cartoons #babytv #momlife

Postpartum depression is a whole different monster! It's 1am and I'm sitting in my kitchen, eating butterscotch pudding and crying in the dark😭🥣 #postpartum #postpartumdepression #depression #newmom #depressed #wtf #babyblues

Any other moms stay up late even though you know you'll regret it in the morning just to have alone time? Like sitting awake at midnight just to have some time when you aren't constantly meeting others needs or being talked to? #momproblems #depression #Help #sad #newmom #momlife

Who says romance is dead? #Romance #MarriedLife #husband #wifelife #humor #sexy #hubby #thatsmyman #wife #nakedathome #ilovehim

Sometimes my man is too good to me.Was showing him some tops I wanted but couldn't justify buying hoping he'd talk some sense into me.Instead he says, "Get 'em! It'll make you feel and look good!" Like thanks but one of us need to be responsible! #goodman #spoiled #love #marriage

Trying to communicate with people on the Facebook marketplace is like trying to talk to ghosts on a spirit box. You struggle to get them to makes sense and in the end give up because you have no idea if the creature on the other end was a real human. #frustration #paranormal

I feel a twisted sense of revenge when I have to bring my toddler into the bathroom with me to keep an eye on him. Like, Your turn to suffer through the smell of poop buddy! How the turntables pal! As a parent...it's the little victories lol #revenge #momlife #toddler

It's amazing how someone you love can hear you have a full fledged mental break down on the phone and just want to talk about picture frames and weather and say they didn't do anything. I've never felt so utterly broken #MentalHealthMatters #family #mentalbreakdown #wtf

It's been a wild ride this year and I wouldn't change a thing❤ #mom #dad #happybirthday #toddler #family #love #TikTok #son #happylife #momlife #MarriedLife #bestdad #Grandma #auntie #witch vm.tiktok.com/ZMRqYsTLe/

I pretend I need to pee way more than I do just to get a small break from my kid and reality for a minute or two 😏 #momlife #mom #toddler #Escape #parentinghack #parentlife #parentingtips

What feels better than sex? The feeling when you've showered and shaved and slide into cool fresh sheets that smell like fabric softener. Absolutely nothing can beat that 😌

I think I have to divorce my husband because he won't talk about ocean conspiracy theories with enthusiasm at 1:30am with me😒I can't live like this! #wife #husband #marriedlife #divorce #disappointed #ConspiracyTheories #nolove #marriageproblems #crazywife

I love those moments when someone doesn't know you're listening and you hear the sweetest things. This morning I woke up to hear my hubs telling our toddler,"I'm so proud to be your dad." My heart melted. I love my boys! 💕 #proud #parenting #myheart #myfamily #bestdad #Toddler