This is the last shitty movie they're making about us, right? I can't even say us, more like the old people in the X-Men. Like, dudes, move on. We got way cooler stories to tell than Miss Grey going all death Phoenix. And they don't even tell the story right!

I've been on here 9 years? Damn! Wait... How am I still 17?#MyTwitterAnniversary

But anyway, new year, new me? Sike! I'll probably lose another limb or organ sometime this year. It's kind of my thing.

Yeah, I’m still alive.

It’s so hot. Can’t Storm create a blizzard or something?

Sometimes I’m surprised I’m still alive.

Damn it, Laura, can’t you tell your sister to keep that badger in a cage or something? It took a crap in my shoe again!

Well life sure has gotten interesting lately.

It’s my Twitterversary

Bruh. Why is LA hot as balls right now? Like more so than usual? Damn global warming. Flatscans mess up everything.

Well enjoy the heat. Laura and I are going on a Disney cruise because we're bougie like that.

It’s too goddamn hot!!

Guess what mutha fuckas!! I got my hands back!

Damn. #MyTwitterAnniversary

Slides this over to 𝗥ⓧ𝗚𝗨𝗘 | ᴀɴɴᴀ ᴍᴀʀɪᴇ. and mumbles, “Er, Happy Mother’s Day, I didn’t forget. Okay, bye.”

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

Why the fuck am I getting suggested tweets from bigots like Marjorie Taylor Greene? She’s worse than Senator Kelly.

how is this screenshot real

So are all of you guys just bots now or what?

Man, I'm sick of these flatscans.