Gotta weasel my way out of killing that dude

Scuba 101, Ain't nobody got time for that

Using a customer's spare oxygen tank to get high turned out to be a bad idea #refunds

Bitches trying to get my stacks #1.6milliondollars #fuckscubachallenge

there has been a huge misunderstanding with Neptune's video chat policy #IdHitThat #DivingBodies

Ways to qualify for Hepburn Expedition: Have at least half of your limbs

Ways to qualify for Hepburn Expedition: Know something about water, credit check, and have poor eyesight #tropicalstormproblems #nolawyers

I feel bad for Lee Allen. He lied to me about his experience so he could get a few moments of twitter fame #butthurt #badlifedecisions

Lets be honest for a minute. I could plead guilty and Bailey Johnson would still be worth less than Neptune. #fucktherules

Inappropriate case theories: Fuck the money I have rules

Bought the testimony of Jordan Nelson just to piss off Bailey Johnson #norefunds #fucktherules