My favourite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Leonardo DiCaprio everytime one of his girlfriends asks why they're being dumped

That’s an awful lot of people who don’t know the difference between a pub and a restaurant.

Our house is the ultimate man cave. Police can't get in for 45mins while we smoke cigars because everythings bullet proof. We have a gym and a podcast studio and all we do is train and work. The dream. Not a gay ornament in site. Zero "home" feeling. ONLY WORK FEELING.

The opera, an Ibiza rave- Siri, show me the definition of "working class woman can't win"

This is very cool… I was taught Maths by Mr Mosley when I was at 6th form in 1990. I then taught Mr Mosley’s son A level maths several years later. Today I’ve found out that Mr Mosley is my son’s 6th Form tutor and A level maths teacher!

Congratulations to Michel Barnier on becoming Prime Minister of France.

What? EVERY road?

It'll be a hard contest

I hated that little shithouse before The Simpsons was even a glint in Tracy Ullman's eye. I can still remember watching the title sequence to Scooby Doo as a kid and the absolute horror when I realised it was a Scrappy Doo episode. The maggot.

"Hairy...Prince Hairy. HAIRY. Is this thing on?"

Public service announcement. BBC4 9.15 Porridge film #whichonesthegoodie

I want the most 1970s dialogue you have. No, that's too 1970s.

"No criticism of Hamas at all?"

I see yer da's finished putting that decking in.

Live by the sword, laugh by the sword, love by the sword

Zero mentions of beer and sandwiches 0 stars bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…