After Chelsea sack Frank Lampard for failing to get results despite significant investment over the summer, Dido Harding immediately offers him a job.

Absolutely no more Suez Canal jokes... That ship has sailed.

After America reveals tomato ketchup shortage, there are fears that if they run out of mayonnaise too they could be heading for a double-dip recession.

Prince Philip, during a visit to Canada in 1969: “I declare this thing open, whatever it is."

I swear this is the best birthday card I've ever had (from my beautiful team BBC Radio 2). I've just been staring at it for an hour. What is “E”?

Tyrone speaks for me. Please retweet if he speaks for you, too.

Try and stop yourself. Its not possible....

This week is #VoterRegistration Week! It is so important to register to vote and ensure your voice is heard! #London has one of the lowest voter registration rates across the UK. This is how you can register to vote #NoVoteNoVoice ⬇️ gov.uk/register-to-vo…

Save North St. Albans Green Belt: fund raising for legal action chng.it/dNSGWgmh via Change.org UK

the room next door - Boris Johnson at the CBI

My mum just waited until the dog had walked out the room to tell me what she'd bought him for Christmas.

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus spilled its load leaving New York Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, surprised, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, confounded, astonished, and numbed.

Maradona’s ‘hand of God’ shirt sells for £7million at auction. Unconfirmed reports Peter Shilton tried to buy it but didn’t put his hand up high enough.

BBC News talks not just of climate change but ‘human induced climate change’ which will last till governments take steps to stop it. You can always rely on the BBC to have a message to deliver.

Thousand hands dance is mesmerising

The Royal Mail will now be called Charles III Post Office, or C3PO

I have a joke about trickle down economics. 99% of you won’t ever get it.

Losing my hair made me sad, so I bought a cheap wig… It was a small price toupee.