If anyone is having a rough day, my brother, whom I have worked with for roughly 8 years, refuses to add me on LinkedIn

CNN just held on this sign for 15 whole seconds. Masterpiece.

@Smithy_116 Blaze it bitch hahaaaaaaa

We're trying to figure out if my brother's *not* girlfriend is coming to Christmas

Everyone I know from home and college are all getting engaged and I'm sitting here redoing my animal crossing island because I didn't like one thing

Today at work, someone called and asked how our [bowling] balls were, how we handled them, what the weight of them were, how we polish them...all without saying the word bowling and using it in every question. I needed to mute myself

I went my entire life thinking the character from the Amanda Show was named Penelope Tait, not Penelope TAYNT and my childhood is a lie

fillerup

If you're not watching Nickelodeon's coverage of the impeachment what are you even doing?

when i start working out, get a sense of fashion, go to bed at a reasonable hour, eat healthy, go outside more, and answer my messages in a reasonable amount of time its all over for you guys trust me

Philly born artist John Harvie recently performed in Dallas, TX for the first time.. and lets just say he definitely didn’t pander to them. 😂🦅 (*NSFW Language*)

Ticketmaster is banned from Ba Sing Se.

Can we stop pretending Chris Brown made a small oopsie one time when he is in fact a serial abuser

The year is 2053. The meta chip is installed in your brain. You’re making love to your wife who is a robot humanoid. You’re about to hit the moment of climax and your meta chip hits you with 6 ads. You cum to a Sketchers commercial.

Groundhog Day is over. Bidoof Day is forever.

tierlisting semi trucks based on how bad i want them to hit me

That’s fuckin right