Me cuddling Mr Three "love you buddy" Him "I just farted on you, you're welcome" #dadlife

How nice to start the day with "wow they're alive, that's brilliant"! instead "what did the terracotta man child say overnight" #Thailandcave #Trump

Somewhere in a Hollywood office "ok how about Jason Statham AND Ray Winstone as the divers"? casting for 'Trapped: the Thai Cave rescue' begins #ThaiCave

As headline pairings go, this weeks effort from the BBC Breaking News will take some beating

#BREAKING confirmation from the Thai Navy SEALs that all 12 boys and the coach are now out safely. Incredible. #ThaiCaveRescue #ThamLuang

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only pain for others. It's the same when you are stupid.

Just in terms of hitting my rhyming buttons why not #soberOctober? #dryjuly

Loose tea is the cuff links of the beverage world .. fine and well but we've moved on.

Just as well #ElonMusk has all that $$$ so he can hire peeps to help with that bloody great chip on his shoulder

I just got an email from a 'hotmail' address. Only a courier pigeon cooing on the windowsill would have shocked me more #hotmail #oldschoolevenforaluddite

Upon reflection I doubt EVERYONE was Kung Fu fighting. But even if they were its highly unlikely those cats were fast as lightning

At farmers market bloke "how do I know you"?!? me "Umm newsreader tv1" him "oh haha I'm more a Samantha Hayes man myself"!! .. we shared a laugh I shed a tear, then kicked him in the ear.

Time is nearly up e te iwi! A little reminder from my whānau to yours, that the #MāoriOption closes soon. So make your choice, Māori roll or general roll? #MāuTonuEKōwhiri

A&E doctors are calling for stricter alcohol laws, fed up with treating injuries they say are preventable. While the number of alcohol related injuries is dropping, a new study suggests we're falling behind other countries in the OECD. Here's all the details from 1News:

Calling dead people "late" has to be the ultimate in optimism. Wait all you like, they're not showing up. #dead

Greg Boyed Get outa my way, watch me break it down (explanatory journalism or dance moves?) 🤔

If #homealone was set in 2018 Kevin would call his parents mobiles, they'd turn around, 6 minute movie tops.

Hehe #Tauranga #bestyet

Daughter saw 'Mana Mia 2' was singing #Chiquita 'dancing once again & the pain will end' was confident it was 'like a pen - gu - in' . So that was a teachable moment #mamamia #Abba