Mmmmmmmm.  NACHOS!

Fantabulous day at the mall hangin wit Jeff Winger.  Dat boy can SING!!! #kissfromarose #AnniesMove yfrog.com/h6oucgzj

#AnniesMove yfrog.com/nze0boxj yfrog.com/obfa1lnj yfrog.com/nwa5vccj yfrog.com/nxuzvdpj yfrog.com/j2lahkj

I have a free DVD player for whoever got hurt the most during Paintball Assassins. SORRY! #GreendalePaintball

Attention Greendale Students: CLASSES START AGAIN NEXT WEEK. "Pencils 'n' Such" is open TODAY! Get your 2010/11 GREENDALE DATE CALENDAR now!

Attention Greendale Students: THE STUDENT LOUNGE VENDING MACHINE NOW SERVING CHARLESTON CHEWS UNDER D7. (Goodbye M&M Coconut Flavor)

Attention Greendale Students: Currently seeking volunteers to help organize a "Welcome Back Dance!" - Does anyone own a belt sander?

Are you ready for classes to start? Don't be late for class or I'll report you to the principal! Haha. #Greendale2010

OKAY. There is no principal here. Don't have to report to anyone just: go to class. Learning is fun! #GreendaleIsFun2010

ATTENTION STUDENTS: Classes start soon! Does everyone have their schedules in order? What class are you most excited for?

AUDITIONS: Our campus a-capella group "The Tune-Ition Payments" are currently auditioning new members! Next Wednesday in the gym! #Singing

ATTENTION STUDENTS: 20 seats left in “Cosmetology 101” - If we don’t fill the class we will have to cancel it. // #NBCCommunity

ATTENTION STUDENTS! Update: 19 seats left in Cosmetology. I wouldn’t MAKE this UP. Haha, make-up joke. #makeupjokes // #NBCCommunity

.Jeff Winger Oh my. We have a bomb threat AND a bomb bot! Well, that’s two surprises in one tweet! // #NBCCommunity

ATTN STUDENTS: ALL CLASSES PUSHED 24 hours DUE TO BOMB SCARE. Yikers! // #NBCCommunity

I have called Security and they have informed me they “will contact the Campus Bomb Squad right away to take care of it.” // #NBCCommunity

Ok, I’ve checked in with Greendale Security and it turns out they were being sarcastic. We do NOT have our own bomb squad. // #NBCCommunity

STUDENTS: Greendale has never owned a bomb bot. A “bomb bot” may not even be a thing. CLASSES AS SCHEDULED // #NBCCommunity

DON'T FORGET: Free punch and cookies at the FRESH START DANCE!

CURRENTLY ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS for an Anthropology professor. Submit @ Greendale's main office or "jam" on twitter. Wave of the future!