Baby’s first aftershock! #earthquakeNY

Aw thanks anyway, Public Safety Alert that blared on my phone an hour and a half after the earthquake—you tried

Good to see you can still rely on Twitter to verify an earthquake in NY, thanks guys

Memorial Scholarship for Letizia Tagliafierro gofund.me/1f9578a6
If you can afford to donate, please do. It's a wonderful cause in memory of a wonderful person.

Child abduction cases normally don’t turn out like this. Thankfully, Charlotte Sena was found alive! #AMBERAlert
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

** UPDATED TO #AMBERALERT **
PLEASE‼️It only takes one second to share this #MissingPerson

#CharlotteSena , 9, was last seen around 6:15pm 9/30/2023 at #MoreauLakeStatePark in #Gansevoort , #NewYork . She was camping with her family at the time of her disappearance and had gone…

California, singlehandedly ruining everyone’s imaginary Bingo game today

IS THIS SOMETHING YOU CAN SHARE WITH THE REST OF US, AMAZING LARRY?!

In New York real estate, all homes above Westchester County have become “farmhouses” and “cottages” and upstate towns are all “hamlets.” Ridiculous

Just noticed this too—and I never requested to follow anyone on Threads

So what I’m typing right now is a “xeet”?? 😂 So done with this

wife: please don't pick any fights this year
me: im over that stuff [shows up later to my kid's birthday party with a piñata shaped like one of the other parents]

A choice between Musk and Zuckerberg! Gosh, how lucky can we be?

Glad I’m getting cut off at 600 tweets because now I won’t be able to buy everything I see on Promoted Ads like I usually do

do the promoted tweets forced into our TLs that I spend most of my time on here blocking count toward the 600 post limit

1037 words today for #1000wordsofsummer , and I’m happy to find that this is actually getting easier

#1000wordsofsummer Day 8, 1148 words. I missed a day because of a night out, but I don’t think being perfect is the point here. It’s picking the pen up every day and continuing what you started.

Me, back to my usual level of news consumption: “So something’s going on in Russia, huh?”

My family:

Me: There’s less than 20 hours of oxygen left on the Titan, so it doesn’t look like a rescue will be possible. If they had another day maybe, but as it is, no.

My family: