What do you call someone who robs people on a daily basis and gets away with it?"A Wall Street banker"

How many UN directors does it take to start a revolution? "They're too busy begging imperialist powers for funding!"

How many elitist activists does it take to start a revolution? "They don't want revolution, they just want executive NGO jobs!"

How many professors does it take to write one revolutionary pamphlet? "Professors don't write pamphlets, they write long unreadable books!"

What do you call a piece of shit who calls himself a journalist but works dutifully for the military machine? "An embedded reporter!"

What do you call a spoiled piece of shit who mismanages a company and gets rewarded with a bailout? "A Wall Street CEO"

How many Hollywood Celebrities does it take to screw in a light bulb? "They're too busy screwing producers for cocaine money."

What do you call a piece of shit who hoards tones of food while millions starve? "A JPMorgan Commodities trader!"

Why did the self-help guru cross the road? "Because there was a group of depressed people to rip-off on the other side!"

What do you call a piece of shit who spends more on their dog than the average person spends on their family? "An upper class asshole."

What's the difference between an imperialist and an onion? "Onions don't go across the world murdering people and stealing their oil!"

Knock knock. "Who's there?" The billionaire's wife. "Get the fuck out of here, I told you already the plastic surgeon lives next door."

Why did the UN director cross the road? "Because there was a seminar on how great upper class donors are!"

Knock knock. "Who's there?" An imperialist. "Fuck you and your war, there's no way I'm fighting to make some rich man richer!"

What's the difference between a celebrity and a pile of steaming shit? "The pile of shit does not stink of idiosyncratic narcissism!"

How many billionaires does it take to start a yacht club? "The real question is how many billionaires does it take to bankrupt humanity!"

What do you call an organization that gives away less than 20% of the donation it receives? "Your average charity!"

Knock knock. "Who's there?" An NGO executive. "Get the fuck out of here you hypocritical piece of shit!"

What's the difference between the UN and a pile of steaming shit? "The pile of shit does not use humanitarianism to spread capitalism!"

How did the piece of shit billionaire make his money? "A penny lost is a penny found, billions lost their savings and he found it all!"