Apprentice gave me a nipple twister and my natural reaction was to karate chop him… And he says.. CALM DOON FATTY CHAN!! 😂😂😂 Geez ma tools am away hame!!

For last nights dinner I done a few laps of The Hup Lee Buffet Restaurant and this morning I done a boxing circuit at Bravehearts Boxing! You know your fat when you spew up a full slice of prawn toast during a circuit session 😂😂

Liz Truss should get the Dundee United job

For all your gardening needs and great fun making 😊🌱🪴 Retreats very much welcome Frank McAvennie @greghemphill96 Jonathan Watson Gary Faulds Andy Cameron MBE 𝑪𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊 Gerard Butler Social Enterprise Scotland Gerry McCulloch fb.watch/gQREK10rqX/

Saturday 3rd December @ 9PM we will be taking part in our annual Sleep On The Street Event in an effort to raise as much as we can for our storage space! If you can, please click our link to donate 👇 justgiving.com/crowdfunding/h… The more the merrier! Gary Faulds

Hollywood producers looking at the Moroccan goalkeeper for the next Spider-Man #morroco #MorrocoVsPortugal

Love the fact the crowd are singing back in minion 😂

We are in a world where people are having to pick between heating and eating, and the PMs big announcement was mostly aimed at children continuing to do maths until they are 18. Will be hard to count when your fingers have snapped of with frost bite! #PM #RishiSunak

The biggest flex I’ve ever seen, at last nights Snoop Dogg gig in the Hydro 😂 #Glasgow

Turn on BBC Radio Scotland and the first thing I hear is @ashleystorrie saying “I like to get squashed” 😂😂

Still can’t get over this clip 😅🐐 most we’ve all laughed in a longgggg time. Gary Faulds

#JoeBiden is in #Belfast. The best thing he can do is get a black taxi tour, they guys could make Disney seem like the most dangerous place on the planet 😂 guy that gave us the tour was driving buy a McDonald’s and ducking down incase their was a sniper 😂 Brilliant experience.

Will we find aliens on mars? Can I get Turkey teeth? Will I ever call my Mum’s boyfriend Da? Can I do yoga without farting? These & other questions will be answered when Gary Faulds Live Frontier comes to the Palace Theatre 22 July. Book now eastayrshireleisure.com/events/gary-fa…

The Glasgow Comedy Club presents... Sun 14th May. 7.30-10.45pm. Darren Connell & The Funny Bunch with Gary Faulds Mikey Motion & Brian Kavanagh Tickets 🎟 🎫 available via room-2.co.uk 18+. All seated gig. Seats allocated on a first come, first served basis.

Darren Connell and The Funny Bunch returns to Glasgow with Darren Connell, Gary Faulds, Brian Kavanagh, Mikey Motion and more at Room 2 Glasgow! Get your tickets at glasgowcomedyclub.co.uk!

🚨 EPISODE 15 - GARY FAULDS Had a great time on this one with comedian Gary Faulds 🥙 His Kebab knowledge and pilgrimage to Doner land Germany ⛪️ Weekly church service keeping him in a good space 🥩 Plenty of gout stories and one involving John Carver youtu.be/zLh4ucZzTRI

Fancy some stand up tonight folks? I’m the host and you’ll get to some of the best acts on the circuit for only £4! Doors open 7pm and show will start 8pm! Link in the comments below ⬇️⬇️

Full Lineup Announce. Remaining tix on sale Friday 10am. Join Waiting List for best chances - laughinthepark.com | Craig Hill , Susie McCabe, Viv Gee, Gary Faulds, @garylittlecomic, James Gardner, @ Laura Quinn Goh , Mikey Motion, Rory M. Spence, Paddy Linton, @BillyKirkwood

Bucket list gig, absolutely buzzing 🕺