Some people criticise Allardyce for being old-fashioned, but really he was a pioneer. He was the first manager I saw wearing an earpiece on the touchline - I didn’t know we were allowed to do that. I got myself one and could usually squeeze in two Fleetwood Mac albums per match.

I thought Big Sam was hard done by with England. I empathised - I did a solid job, particularly at Euro 2000 where we finished in a very respectable third place. In Group A. Then as soon as I left, the FA bulldozed Wembley which, for me, felt an overreaction. Still, up to them.

I was chuffed to have attended Charlie’s coronation along with all current and former England managers as part of the FA delegation. I spray-painted my Newcastle Brown Ale tracksuit gold - the fumes made me slip briefly into unconsciousness but once I came to, I looked the part.

I said to Charles, ‘I’ll tell you, there are even more people here today than there were at St James’ Park when I unveiled Alan Shearer in 1996.’ Though to be fair to Al, Charles was never going to score 260 Premier League goals and I think he’d be the first to admit that.

I met the rest of the gang outside Westminster Abbey - Steve McClaren was looking smug because it was raining and he was the only one who thought to bring a brolly. Due to an administrative error, we’d sent Fabio Capello’s invite to Steve Coppell, who looked made up to be there.

The plan was for us to carry a big papier-mâché model featuring three lions into the Abbey but Roy Hodgson immediately said he wouldn’t do it if Ray Lewington wasn’t allowed to assist. Then Terry Venables upset Gaz Southgate by joking that he’d probably end up dropping it.

Things went from bad to worse when Glenn Hoddle brought Chris Waddle along and demanded that they be allowed to perform an a cappella version of Diamond Lights for the King, then Sven was briefly imprisoned after attempting to give Camilla his phone number. It was a disaster.

Suddenly there was only me and Big Sam left but then he had to shoot off early (‘I’m managing Leeds,’ he said - that old excuse) and I was alone. I asked Charles if he fancied nipping off for a pint but he said he was too busy being coronated. Bit of a washout, in the end. Shame.

I hated early goals in matches - I begged the FA to ban them but they refused. Those suits just didn’t appreciate that Terry Mac and I would need time to pack away our guitar and keyboard equipment after performing Sting’s ‘Fields Of Gold’ for the lads pre-match. Poor from them.

I liked VAR, myself - I could never fault a ref pausing a match to go and watch a bit of telly on the touchline. One of my contractual stipulations at Newcastle was a TV in the dugout so I could watch a few episodes of Jimmy Nail’s ‘Spender’ whenever there was a lull in a game.

I wished Postecoglou well at Spurs. I told him, ‘You’ll be an honorary Brit in no time. Look at Gary Cahill – his brother, Tim, was Australia through and through but Gaz loved us so much he chose to represent England instead.’ ‘Kevin, Christ mate, it’s 3am’ he said. Cracking kid.

People criticised Daniel Levy, but for me it was unfair. I once bumped my trolley into his in Tesco – I apologised and he said, ‘No problem.’ A class act. I mean, I then realised it wasn’t him at all, it was just a bald man, but nevertheless, I do feel it speaks well of the guy.

On the coach to a match I once saw Mark Viduka calling his family in Australia - I had to destroy his phone. ‘They’re ten hours ahead of us!’ I snapped. ‘That means they already know the result of our game later. It’s cheating, I won’t have it. You’ve disappointed me today, son.’

Inter Miami signing Messi was huge. I said to Phil Neville, ‘Wow, you must be so excited about seeing him run out on that pitch.’ ‘Nope, I couldn’t give a toss, to be quite honest,’ he shrugged. I was staggered. Why not just quit if that’s how you feel? Disgraceful, actually.

It was going to be tough for some of the other Miami boys having a superstar like Lionel Messi to compare themselves with. I had the same situation at Man City, resentment from other players could sometimes creep in, but to be fair to Jon Macken he never let it affect him.

I almost signed Lionel Messi for City in 2004. On arrival I had to admit I wasn’t bowled over. Don’t get me wrong, the lad could dance, but he had no pace and looked older than his years. When he said he wanted ‘Blair’ on his shirt I pulled the plug - the kid was clearly unwell.

Look, I was gutted when I heard Gaz Southgate was stepping down as England manager. I said to him, ‘I genuinely believe that if we’d beaten Spain on Sunday night, England would be European champions right now.’ And I will always stand by that.

I never felt I had the support of the FA during my England tenure. I remember asking David Davies to back me by submitting a big-money bid to bring in the kid, Ronaldinho. He said, ‘Kevin, we’ve been over this, it doesn’t work like that’ – such a disgraceful lack of ambition.

I warned Southgate Strictly would be after him. I was going to take part in 2010 on the condition that I be paired with Ginger Rogers. They fobbed me off with excuses like ‘She died 15 years ago’ and ‘We haven’t actually asked you to be on the show’ so it never panned out. Shame.

I was very sad to see Andy Murray retire. I said to him, ‘You can look back proudly on a fine career. To win twice at Wimbledon is one hell of an achievement - I remember my Newcastle side scrapping to a hard-fought 3-3 draw there back in ‘95, so I know what a tough place it is.’