My face feels weird bc i smirked from the inside of my feelings

I feel like this isn't a big ask

The message i’m getting from netflix is if i want them to make something about me all i have to do is behave very very very very very very very very very badly

I shouldn’t have to experience a UK election & a US election in the same year, this should be prohibited out of respect

He could at least bother lying about canceling student loan debt this time. Insulting

What if Trump loses Pennsylvania by one vote?

Ugh it’s so annoying how dogs are so loud, they bark up a storm to warn you that an intruder is trying to rob your home, whereas cats are nice & quiet while they peacefully plot to murder you in your sleep & gang bang your corpse with their street friends

Deeply offended that a streaming app would think i’d want autoplay on as a default setting after all this time we've spent together

Really hope my asinine tweets are relentlessly showing up in an enemy’s For You feed

people are way too sentimental about elected officials, the relationship is supposed to be transactional. Imagine having affection for the guy selling you your car

May we learn from the bees & aspire to their elite level of revenge

Hoping ppl whose only knowledge of poker comes from balatro completely ruin las vegas, accidentally cheating, stopping the game to ask about the rules, casinos needing entirely separate remedial tables

Really wish crane flies would do something with their short times on this earth that is more valuable than buzzing around my head

It’s actually normal to yell at the moon, what isn’t normal is STEALING A REAL STAR’S THING, satellite ass bitch

It’s as if Apple’s description of the iPhone 16 was written specifically to annoy me

Got a wheelchair that doesn’t have push handles so now if i get kidnapped you can’t say “well those handles were an invitation”

Slay the spire 2 should have a level where you fuck the merchant’s mother

If you’re struggling, call the suicide helpline & they’ll help you write a will & remember them in it

Oh the weather outside is frightful the fire inside is frightful the people inside are frightful the atmosphere inside is frightful the conv