Every Monday morning when i sit down at the office

Chicks have never grabbed some cigars, a couple transfusions, a fresh 3 pack of pro v1s and shot 90 with the boys and it really shows

My Dad had a house, a dog and his first child on the way at 23 and here I am yelling at southern girls on twitter spaces at 2:30am

“Wanna crack a beer after work?”

Last weekend I said I’d never drink again but today I feel like putting up Keith Whitley numbers

Happy Friday ladies and gentleman

SOMEONE LET ME BUY A BLACK UNIFORM OR IM GUNNA FREAK OUT

Its not an addiction I just dream about hitting the side jackpot on blackjack every night

I think I have tennis elbow from excel

My boss is leaving to join the peace core and my question of “whats their 401k match?” Was not well received

Oh no! What are you gunna do about it, run me down?!?

Just a dream

Literally every man in america did this today

They should do The Masters but like 18 weeks long and with dudes trying to run a little oval ball into a certain area instead of a hole and also you can hit people.

I swear it’s a pipeline

What do men want?

:

Im ngl my eyes hurt right now

Staring at the eclipse in the office so I can get workers comp, claim disability, and retire at 23

Not having Redzone on a Sunday is worse pain than child birth and no woman can convince me otherwise