Battle of the Daves - Blue Steel David Hirst or Bluebeard Dave Higgens?

My mother’s hoover has headlights.

It was at this moment that Alex realised he’d overshot...

There’s a song on in this cafe which I swear has ‘let me get my severed head’ as its chorus.

With minutes to go until the Marketing Show North at @EventCityUK was due to close, Alex Cousins managed to go top of the UKFast #FastestLap leader board with an epic 4.351 seconds, beating his previous time by 0.050 seconds! #MSN19

Love it when the @FirstWestYorks no.1 pulls up 50 feet away and drives off while you’re jogging towards it waving like a madman - really good for the cool, suave self image I’ve got going on...

🎶... I am an iiiiice-land [jingly guitar] 🎵

Football fans have taken over Trowell services. Lovely bunch of people, leaving no mess behind them nor causing any disturbance to passing families. I didn’t even hear any swearing at full volume! </sarcasm>

Thanks @DPD_UK - apparently a whole ten seconds isn’t quick enough for me to run down 3 flights of stairs. I don’t even know who it’s for...

Quite aside from all the other bollocks on this, could you not at least have hired an actual photographer UK Independence Party, or will your rich kid donors not stretch to that?

In memoriam: Danny Sheridan

Slumming it in cattle class with the commoners. Standing room only... no wonder everybody drives

I’ve reached the lofty heights of a BA flight to London City (Ryanair can do one) and the very posh magazine is recommending the AdamBuxton podcast in ‘Thibgs that only make sense to Brits’... Time to fly - Buckles up!

Last night Manchester Pride's PR team told me I was not welcome at the Candlelit Vigil HIV memorial. It's a slightly long story but I'm particularly angry about it and it's important: joelgoodman.net/2019/08/27/man…

Great to see the Press Gazette picking up on our first report on local media reporting of Magistrates’ Courts. Join us at Future of Journalism Conference for further findings. Tom Smith Phil Chamberlain Bernhard Gross

There’s definitely something wrong here.

Really bloody useful @DPD_UK, especially in a shared house. So much information to go on...

Canada Goose trying to muscle in on firm territory - I think The North Face and I need to have a chat, we all know who makes the real snapper jacket... petapixel.com/2020/02/11/can…

👋

Lockdown restrictions are loosening, allowing people the opportunity to play with their balls together in the sun.