Just woke up to a missed call from 911

Viciously mewing anytime a girl is even remotely close to me

You doing sober march now?

Day 1 in the portal…

What really matters is what song plays clean up in a concert setlist

Me with a blue Powerade when I’m severely hungover

That one bathroom at work

Thank god for the arrows, wasn’t too sure where to look

Twitter starting to suck ngl

The rizzler when he’s 19 and still doing the rizz face thing

Listening to Gus last night really was the epitome of realizing your GOAT is washed. Guy knows less about Big East hoop than anyone

Dan Hurley to the refs after tonight

Creighton fans I’m at your fucking neck. Fuck you, you fucking losers Creighton Men’s Basketball

Big East refs are not allowed to ump our games.

Good night

Getting into an intensifying altercation at the bar: “Bro do not ruffle my feathers”

CJ Moore HMAN259101119 Your handle should be CJMoorePoops. Cause this list is SHIT.

Not sure if it’s a hot take but drone shows just don’t do it for me

ONIONS 🤯 #MarchMadness