the one friend who claims not to bite people the second you take your jacket off

anxious people be like sorry for causing a scene and all they did was ask you to stop treating them poorly

he said a slur and then left

i hate going for my nightly walks and seeing dark houses like i’m trying to see what’s going on in there turn on the lights

bro i’m literally in stardew valley

tired of thinking for myself i’m resorting to the block of wood

ur honor why you acting like you were even there

to the guy in brazil who keeps trying to get into my instagram account i made when i was 13 just message me you can have it

wish arctic monkeys song titles would stop asking me so many personal questions im just trying to vibe

ur honor do you promise not to get mad if i tell you

applying for a reddit job

your honor my client is sleepy and getting cranky

bro they make emojis for everything like what is this even suppose to be ??

asked someone to perceive me and they said something i didn’t like

they took away the feature to hide the blue checkmark this must be what being outed in front of your dad during thanksgiving feels like

no more locking in it’s time to stare at the corner of where the wall meets the ceiling

can i put weed in the air fryer

i’m feeling all of these all at the same time all of the time

i’m not trying to flip houses i’m just trying to live

been watching videos of a woman just stuffing 15 benadryl in apples and feeding it to her horses and i’ve never been more jealous of a horse