The great OJ Simpson has passed today. An innocent man who was prosecuted simply for being black. The fact he was acquitted of murder, despite a racist system stacked against him, gives all black people hope. Rest in Peace, brother.

Today, for the very first time in my life, someone actually said to me 'Hey, you're my type!'

Sadly, it was in a discussion about blood groups.

#ForeverAVirgin

A woman offered me a blow job today. Of course I had to turn her down, because getting a job could affect my benefits...

Typical of gammons to attack my fragile mental health. I simply recovered quickly that day because of the support and encouragement I got from my fellow rejoiners. And I never ask people for money.

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Currently enjoying myself in Copenhagen, great to be back in the EU. Enjoying looking at the statues, in particular this one. I may not own a house but today I do have a semi.

A small shipment of 2,000kg of Brie will be liable for a maximum £145 Brexit import tax. This means that a 200g wedge of Brie in the shops will go up from £2.85 to a massive £2.86! This is unacceptable! How are people supposed to afford this extra charge?
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Need your help! Just bought a new TV, but it won't show CBeebies, Nickelodeon or in fact any children's TV channels. Can anyone help me with this? I'm missing out on all my favourite shows.

My last post was of course, an April Fool prank. I mean... imagine me getting an actual job! As if that could happen! I don't need a job, this month Universal Credit increases by 6.7% and Local Housing Allowances go up, so I'll be raking in free cash from you taxpaying mugs!🤣

I've been censored! X didn't like my post about my visit to the theatre to see 'Jimmy Savile The Musical' and forced me to delete the tweet because it was 'explicit'... even though it definitely was NOT in any way explicit! Like if you agree!

Peter Brian Sharpe

Just to clarify, I am definitely NOT a nonce.

In fact, some of my best friends are kids. They often help me pick out my t-shirts, as they get the same size that I do.

Linda Q Emperor Ivor of Fentonia. Also looking forward to watching The Gary Glitter Story on Netflix when I get home.

I'm in Liverpool today for the Rejoin march. If you want to meet me or shake my hand then make your way through the huge crowds. And, if you bring a copy of today's Sun newspaper with my article in it, I'll happily autograph it for you!

Seems that Nike are in trouble for messing with the English flag, changing the white cross for a multicoloured one.

But a multicoloured cross is much more appropriate for the diversity we have in England - it now represents ALL the English, including the 46% who are NOT white.

I made plans to leave the UK and move to an EU country where my freedoms would be respected.

However, I have had to cancel these plans, as I have been informed that if I move then my Universal Credit payments will be stopped. Once again the Government is oppressing our rights.

Lee Anderson's first words as Reform UK first MP

'I want my country back' Lee Anderson MP

Mother's Day is less than a week away. Been thinking about buying my mum two right shoes to match with the two left shoes she already has. What do you think? or will that offend her as she's always preferred the left over the right?

Need some help. I have an erection that won't go away. I've tried everything, including looking at photos of my mum Diane Abbott, but it just gets harder. What can I do? Maybe I should stop watching children's TV?