Me 13yo making fun of a kid for wearing a Fleetwood Mac shirt "Nice Fleetwood Mac shirt loser" Me 30yo explaining to the stranger in the grocery store why I'm crying "I just listened to 'Everywhere' by Fleetwood Mac"

Every day is another magnificent opportunity to fart. You think you've heard every kind that can come out of your body. But then you eat a whole mess of calamari and your butt shows you it has more up its sleeve than you knew. Truly inspiring

Real Gs move in silence like arfield

My tummy is a cauldron, I am a warlock, my farts are my spells I'm casting today baby 😏

Can you imagine the power of 31100 Gecs Which is the 311x100 Gecs collaboration

Kanye is wrong for this one. Beanie Feldstein is talented. If you don't like Booksmart take it out on Olivia Wilde. 22 Jump Street is really good though, so hopefully that works.

Thick layers of crust? Molten hot center? Is planet Earth a calzone?

Oh shit, home depot pride flag just dropped

No that's not trash on my floor, that's enrichment for my cat. Side note she was big into Andrew Yang back in the day, now she doesn't have shit to say about him Lol figures 😏

I feel so stunted on when I see birds running We get it you have wings and legs

White people have a real tendency to skip away from kerfuffles

No shit saw this picture scrolling and was like "I don't remember this scene of 'Succession'. When was Ken on a construction sight?"

America is beautiful I gotta buy a gun, they all make it look so fun

Jay-Z doesn't get enough credit for ending sexism* *saying 'ladies is pimps too.'

🎙️🌮 NEW EPISODE🌮🎙️ Happy #TacoTuesday! On this week's episode we check out TAQUIZA KS in Rosana Square with KC Comedians Evan Goldt Evan Christian Goldt, Jake Redpath & Kasey Famous Kase the Face! All performing in KC's FOUNTAIN CITY COMEDY FESTIVAL this weekend! Episode available NOW!

If you get a Fat Lip during a Ménage à Trois, that's called a ThreeSum 41, and it means you're In Too Deep.