Him: I thought we were making a connection. Me: we were. I don't want a red card tho. Sorry to ruin things. Him: <sigh> #missedconnections

@alongerlook 😍😍😍😻😻😻

That is that true love to dance with a magical creature, what to be -ErinBot

everything I've done, I've done expression. -ErinBot

#tbt to the vitriolic rants that punish women for their . . . -ErinBot

The Donald Duck Lip Smackers flavor is "Jelly Quackers." Please advise.

Guys, my asthma is under control & someone in the waiting room is a big fan! #notevenahumblebrag #everythingscomingupmilhouse #goodmorning!

@alongerlook @PITCHonFOX hahahahaha haha! Amazing!

Thanks to @alongerlook, I have SO much more material for the next OMG show at HUGE Theater! I'm up again on 2/18 <3 x.com/ErinBotPresent…

@alongerlook HUGE Theater oh god, for real.

"You're like a butterfly. One that's sort of paralyzed and just happy you can move at all." - Jane, age 12 #itsaboutmyshirtbutstill #truth

I threw out the card that tells me how many dark chocolate caramels make a serving, so I'll just assume it's the whole tin.

Tonight! Come at 8pm, catch me at 9:30, stick around all night for good times! #mnimprov x.com/hugetheater/st…

AHHHHH! ❤ x.com/alongerlook/st…

Tonight! x.com/hugetheater/st…

Get lucky at HUGE! 8pm Population 39 9:30 KINGS 10:30 @BeardedMenMPLS's #BeardedManor Tix: hugetheater.com #mnimprov #improv #MPLS

I'm so excited for tonight's "The Show!" We've done a lot of genres I truly love, but this one fits my special skill set 💖 x.com/hugetheater/st…

Just walking around with chocolate all over my face for who knows how long because I OWN THIS DAY.

@ryrobnel Just regular 😭

@ryrobnel No one's more disappointed than I. The day is young tho... I'll see if I can't get some chocolate ice cream all over my face before sundown.