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To my business savvy friends, watch 'A Most Violent Year'. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Aren't all men technically screw drivers?

No girl has the authority to claim true love if they don't give blow jobs.

"Dr. Lerner, you must have an opinion on this." "Hah! I have a wife & four daughters, I have no opinions." DUMDARAMDUSH! (The Rewrite)

Mbu not paying the bill & running out of the restaurant is romantic. Try that in UG & let's see how the love story ends.

Who's got an Easter Bunny costume? You'll be paid. And no, it's not for a 50 Shades Of Grey redo.

Why is it that when people are angry they go, "Bite me!" What if someone actually bit you?

But these rappers. If you were really a killer, you'd be in the army. But you're in studio recording a song. That's gangsta.

You walk into a Vodafone shop knowing exactly what you want but they still explain it to you. Now I have to pretend to listen. *Sigh

The look you give me when I demand my 100/- is the same look I give you when you price your stuff at 499,900/-.

I know I'm late to the party but Furious 7's emotional ending made it hard to walk out of the cinema like a ninja. Just beautiful.

'Night'? What do you mean 'night'? I know it's night. What will you text in the morning, 'Day'?

But Batman, this is Superman. Who do you think you are?

That sudden urge to make creepy faces when you catch a baby looking at you. She's lucky her mum is looking.

Only in a Liam Neeson movie would you have a police chase where it's the police being chased.

No way! Who watched the last episode of Veep? Who? Ah screw it, I'll high five myself. #HughLaurieFandoms

Kale there's a time I thought dual sim was just a fancy way of saying simsim.

Many radio ads these days really talk to me. They tell me, "Switch off your radio for a bit. We won't take long."

A win for Mad Max, a winner for Furiosa, a winnest for George Miller. I'm always late to these things but FUCK! 20/10.

Don't just stand there smiling & being a nice guy. You're better than this, Hugh Laurie.