Starting off our #mondaymotivation yoga class with a deep sob -- I mean breath, deeeeeeeep breath.

If they didn’t want me to eat lunch in class, they shouldn’t have scheduled it at noon, k?

The key to #meditation is to just let it all go...the house, the car, the dreams, the friends, 20 years of marriage...all of it.

@SteffDeschenes Port Performing Octopus. Lean to the left. Stretch out every limb and jiggle them with everything you've got.

@jeffreyremick Southern Performing Hedgehog. Bend backwards and spasm your back like your invisible quills are bumping into everything.

@me_th3_n00b Inward Singing Blossom. Stand perfectly still, eyes closed. Now imagine the horror of having to sing on live TV. Repeat.

Yoga is all about flow. So don’t get all judgy when I let my tears flow in class.

Victory Yoga! Get pumped! Get psyched! Butt-slaps for everyone!

Hot yoga helps me sweat out toxins. Like divorce. And bankruptcy. And living in my Mom’s basement.

Beatboxing in an empty #yoga studio. Metaphor for my life, I guess.

K, no one at #yoga class interested in self-defence. Got it. Sheesh.

If I want the class to #Om for 37 minutes while I stare into the middle distance, that’s my right as your #yoga teacher, ok?

Okay, turns out no one wants me to pump them up when they’re in their #yoga flow.

My #yoga classes are about to get a lot more competitive. Introducing: Victory Yoga!

Manager of the #yoga studio says I can’t have everyone scream their oms anymore. Fine.

Technically, no one really knows how to pronounce any of these Sanskrit words.

Pretty sure the heat in this #yoga studio is broken. I’ll have it fixed next week, guys.

I always feel better after an hour of yoga. Until I remember my entire life is in shambles.

This is gonna be huge: From now on, scream your oms in #yoga. Really get the bad juju moving out of you.

When it comes to yoga classes, there's good weird...and then there's just weird weird. bit.ly/2bVtQ99