The good news is that no deal is off the table. The bad news is there isn't a table.

Ready for the #UKAgencyAwards with Emily Wassell and @_jimleo 🍾

Look on my woks, ye Mighty, and this pear.

"Spirits, are you there?" [ouija board] ＩＦ  ＹＯＵ  ＬＩＫＥ  ＩＴ  ＴＨＥＮ  ＹＯＵ  ＳＨＯＵＬＤＡ  ＰＵＴ  Ａ  ＲＩＮＧ  ＯＮ  ＩＴ "Damn it, we've held a séaoncé again!"

Cop: Are you drunk? Me: Could a drunk person do this? *I just piss my pants* Cop: WOW. Yes actually. Me: That was supposed to be a backflip

[police car behind me] Me: shit, was that a red light back there? My dog: like a grey Me: ... My dog: like a light grey. If that helps

'NO... wait... don't come in! No, just listen Sharon... calm down. I can explain'

Her.- do you have a dog or a cat? me.- I don't know.

Camilla looking like she's about to star in the most badass Marvel superhero movie of 2017

Remember, you are not so much breaking your New Year's resolution, but exercising your radical freedom to not be bound by past choices.

HELP ME PLEASE. A MAN NEEDS HIS NUGGS

Ne pouvait pas traduire tweet

"Why did Theresa May call an election?" Top trending questions in the UK since polls closed #GE2017

HISTORY OF US PRESIDENTS:

Man rapes woman Woman gets pregnant Man tells woman she must have baby because God Man then tells single mother she is a drain on society x.com/GMB/status/905…

Can we stop talking about this horror as being "old fashioned" and "archaic"? Alive in 2017, he is dangerous, offensive and disgusting x.com/independent/st…

You co-founded UKIP when you were 29 and you've been an MEP since you were 35. x.com/Nigel_Farage/s…

man I had no idea you could buy this. I’ve just been using drugs and alcohol

daaaaaamn New York Daily News.

the kids are better than us