Ask and ye shall receive! IT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN 🚨

> tomorrow

This is your daily reminder to check the batteries on your carbon monoxide detector! If you don’t have one, get one. Remember to replace your carbon monoxide detector every five to ten years, depending on make and model.

Our trash can has the stomp-open lid so I used the foot plunger like five times in a row shouting "BOOM, HEADSHOT" and the lid flew off... I was trying to say "BOOM, CURBSTOMP" but forgot what the right word was...

A home owner complained about a ghost in their guest room. So I said “it seems you have a guest.”

Send me luck. What, you’re using it? Come on, just let me borrow it for a few hours.

I need the complete set, thanks.

This is your daily reminder to check the batteries on your carbon monoxide detector! If you don’t have one, get one. Remember to replace your carbon monoxide detector every five to ten years, depending on make and model.

I want to be her when I grow up

yeah, as the slime

A Kirlian Photography, male 1989 - Kirlian photography - Wikipedia en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirlian_p…

Yeah you can find people who will feed MULTIPLE birds plastic for that price

They call it an M65 field jacket because I want mmmmmmm 65 of them.

Claiming to have scurvy to pressure Hazmat 🫗 ☣️ Ooze Vtuber into making me orange juice, call that maling-ARRR-ing My true love be the vitamin C

Stolen tweet alert I said this at the dining table and he immediately stole the statement to make this tweet