You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead balls

Not me being jack’s raging bile duct 🤪

You can double your Kyle in 14 years if you’re smart about it. You’d be crazy not to

This is extremely disappointing

Instead of paying for health insurance we should be allowed to write really nice thank you cards to doctors when they do a good job

The means of production are safe with me, sir 🫡 I wouldn’t even know what to do with them 🤪

Andrés is a sharp, quick-witted comedy writer, a skilled designer who can make a piece of Art that stands out among a sea of Content, and an entire joy to collaborate with!

Can I say something without everyone getting mad

Made a long as hell video about outrage creators, mugshot t-shirts, and Italian gay bars that I think is important! tiktok.com/t/ZT82fxNn8/

Guards!! Seize him!!

Mom says it’s your turn to spin the Dinner Wheel

You have my attention…

Kiss your storage woes behind

And what of our uncling? Are we to toil in endless drudgery?

Your parents: "we turned your childhood bedroom into a home office" My parents:

Weird way to find out my dad is circumcised

goatse

I got laid off in October, which isn't your fault but it IS your problem, because I started an Etsy shop with my gf and you're all gonna hear about it. Here's a goofy D&D ornament I'm excited to share: The 12-Sided Dice of Christmas etsy.com/listing/441866…

Wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see