If you have more than two canned wines Apple should block you from looking at old pictures of your kids.

That Alzheimer’s commercial during the Macy’s parade?? Sorry if the potatoes are too salty, I’m sobbing over here.

The FBI couldn’t waterboard my Spotify wrapped out of me.

I wrapped Christmas presents sitting on the floor yesterday and now I’m paralyzed.

🎶 Ohhhh the weather outside is frightful ( it’s 70 degrees I thought it was supposed to be winter it’s almost Christmas what is going on thanks Obama) 🎶

This is my OOO reply

Evergreen

Seeing this on Dec. 25th like 🤪🫩😢🚬🍷

Chevy needed a collab with Kleenex for this my goodness.

Spent all afternoon making French onion soup bc Jeremiah Fracson has always said it’s one of his favorites. As we are eating he told me I was confusing it with French onion dip.

Walking into work after 9 million days off

Hey boss, yeah sick day, way too windy.

Ok Mr. Fart

Midland area toddler

How about a drive-thru toy store where you buy a wrapped present on your way to a kid's bday party. I don't care what's inside.

spreadsheet crunching day

I hate seeing someone hustle through the airport. Backpack swinging around all crazy back there. YUCK.

why they take that lady mama???