Things they don’t tell you about being a chef, part one. You’re going to walk a lot. Like a lot a lot.

Weekend in the mountains. When the sun hits the ridge just right, these hills sing. (No i didn’t steal that from the emperor’s new groove, I made it up. Don’t Google it.)

The book I'm writing is so cool and so fun and holy shit you guys I'm so scared I'm gonna ruin it by accident

I have to do actual research for this book and it's literally the most unfair thing that's ever happened to me

Okay but tell me those don’t look like people hands at first glance

*whispers* it’s new tattoo day

Some of us haven't forgotten. Lol.

I just wrote ‘downtown abbey meets van helsing’ as a comp for a secret project and I’m pretty GD stoked about it if I can be honest

Do you think pets understand weekends? Or do they just think their best friend is staying home to spend more time with them

god CAESAR YOU IDIOT

Today we read best friends books, drink coffee, and plan for spooky season

If you can read this, thank a librarian

when you're writing dialogue and a character says something funny, is it because they're funny or you're funny

Great news gang I’m not longer considering myself ‘broke’. I’m proud to announce that I’m currently going forward as ‘pre-profit’.

Follow me over on the camera app @drunkscribewrites for more top-notch marketing tips.

I have never been enraged by a combination of words, but ‘low carb sandwich’ comes pretty GD close

the MC in my new book is a scientist and I am dumb as a bag of rocks help SOS

To the people asking what kind of scientist she is…I make soup for a living wtf you’re not helping

Like this tweet or someone ~ who shall remain nameless ~ is going to exhume your ancestors for nefarious purposes

I aspire to be as useless as the Google Docs word search function