Holding the middle pole on a packed train is like the shittest May pole dance ever #tubethoughts

Question:Movies where people fake their own death - whose family is financially stable enough to afford a funeral? If you fake death, leave me with nothing but grief and a pile of debt only to come back you better believe I'll kill you.I paid £10k on a casket & someone's using it

The accuracy tho

This is a video of a cockatoo screaming into a cup. I have never felt so seen. #whenimhomealone #TuesdayThoughts youtu.be/tRsfOGJ5lZg

Well kids, buckle yourselves in cause we're going on a ride today. Lockdown has probably got the better of me but idc because I'm howling. This morning I opened up a random FB fluff piece. It alone made me LOL 1/

I then click on this link. Hmm why would police fail to comment if they're *sure* (2)

*insert mad cackling here* (3)

At this point I'm s c r e a m i n g. This is the tiger. (4)

SOMEONE THINKS THIS IS WHAT A TIGER LOOKS LIKE

THIS. I want to call the police because this person is clearly deranged. Omg. Best. Day. Ever.

Chris and Alex back in Making Mondays Great Again! It's the 1st of December this week so it's practically Christmas - is it too early for Santa Baby (Eartha Kitt's version. Obvs.)

What's that? Last night's MMGA podcast already?! I spoil you really. Treat yerself, catch up with me and Chris Pearson podomatic.com/podcasts/mmga/…

It's just before 8pm! Tune in today and catch up with me and Chris Pearson for another episode of MMGA (to refresh yourself you can catch up with last week's here podomatic.com/podcasts/mmga/…)

If you missed out on last weeks episode of MMGA on wandsworthradio you can still catch up! Join Chris Pearson and myself as we hang out, chat about charity shops, pie puns and Friday massages. podomatic.com/podcasts/mmga/…

What better way to beat the lurgy than listening to me old pal Chris Pearson on wandsworthradio

I better be getting some Vulfpeck, Pearson #sickbed #mmga #iamtheworstcohost #wantmetodothepodcast? wandsworthradio Chris Pearson

What's this? wandsworthradio MMGA's podcast with Chris Pearson and myself is up BEFORE Monday? Miracles do happen. podomatic.com/podcasts/mmga/…

Oh and "GAIN" would have given you triple word score and got you marginally out of the deep trench you've dug in your Words With Friends match. #todaynotyourdayhun?

To the woman who was shoving me in all kinds of ways in order to position herself to get a seat - I do feel a sense of cosmic karmic retribution that the universe has spoken by giving it to me. And your scowl does nothing more than fuel my joy. #dontbeadick