Fun fact: Crows wag their tails when they’re happy.

Nintendo Switch 2 will not be announced this year, according to my sources. “The console came out last year man,” they tell me.

I hope "mogged" and "maxxing" sticks around for awhile, they genuinely make me joymaxx when I'm getting mogged at work

If your infant is too loud or petulant you can always press R3 to perform a stealth takedown

A two income household is literally the best so whatever you do in this life make sure your wife has two jobs

Literally just me

me as a drug dealer *giggling* “we don’t have coke is pepsi okay”

my brother made this for my birthday LMAOOOOOOO

New Yorker gets angry at snow on main.

I pretended to not like Lincoln Park for a long time when I was young because I was trying to be different, but as an adult, man, I'd be lying if I didn't say that Hybrid Theory is one of my favorite albums.

I literally stopped drinking because it's expensive Yes it wasn't good for my health but that's not why I stopped

This Is How You Eat a Big Mac (2015)

If I had tourettes I would probably swear more but nobody would notice because I already swear a lot

Owls are the animal equivalent of that kid who wore dark clothes and listened to nine inch nails in middle school but you know they a huge dork

God forbid your house has any personality...