I can’t believe I refreshed crackedstrems 1,000 times to watch that short of a fucking fight #AskrenVsPaul

Masochistic Toilet Craving Hot Piss bit.ly/2QFgMIL

I’d go a step further and say that the only pragmatic option for libertarians is a radical message. It does have to be the correct radical message though. It must be centered around the crises that the country is facing and not railing against drivers licenses.

At this very moment ancient ice is melting inside my rectum cleansing my impurities with the waters of the arctic.

Bless

At brunch off an edible on a Tuesday. Thanks America.

A baby at this hotel just legit stood up and said “Fuck the vaccine I’m on ivermectin f**gots” and then starting running through the halls. His parents are chasing him now. The country is really divided.

Working on some new material for this week

🤡🌎 6 jabs needed

make sure you are eating a balanced meal every day!!

RIP Ray Liotta, I’m still waiting to find that one special woman that I love so much I beat the shit out of her creepy neighbor with the butt of my gun and ask her to hold it for me in a gesture that would bond us romantically and signal her implicit approval of my life of crime

My favorite part of the Elvis movie are the scenes where his family is pissing him off so he drives to the hood to overdose on black people

東崎。風に向かって立つオス馬。

Lying in the dentist. Am praised for using an electric brush. Little to no build up. A highly educated woman sticks her gloved finger in my mouth as Whitesnake’s classic hit “here I go again” comes on the radio. Mentally, this counts as as sex. My eyes close. Bliss.

Under President Biden’s leadership, there is a manufacturing boom across the country: ☑️TSMC is investing $40 billion in Phoenix ☑️Micron is investing $100 billion in Syracuse ☑️Intel is investing $20 billion in Columbus ☑️IBM is investing $20 billion in Poughkeepsie