New York Times Pitchbot(@DougJBalloon) 's Twitter Profileg
New York Times Pitchbot

@DougJBalloon

Parody. You shouldn’t look up to anybody, and you shouldn’t look down on anybody either. merch: https://t.co/3bxNPhdkPL

ID:22998311

linkhttp://www.balloon-juice.com calendar_today05-03-2009 23:35:29

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In this Ohio diner, Rasmussen still means Dennis. But they do know this: election fraud has become such a big problem that we should just throw out all the absentee ballots.

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My model shows a 68% chance that Alito leaked the Dobbs decision but a 96% chance that he was forced to by insufferable liberal neighbors who used to read my work but no longer do. And I tell you the best luxury Alaskan lodges to catch salmon. All in the next Silver Bulletin.

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Opinion | I back the blue. But when the cops get in the way of a golf tournament or try to stop a violent insurrection from destroying American democracy, they know the danger they signed up for.

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An Offer They Can't Refuse

The Don of the Trump syndicate is trying to shake down oil executives like Corleone shook down movie producer Jack Woltz. But it's Don Jr. who wakes up every morning next to a horse head.

by Maureen Dowd

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Biden pledged to be a president for all Americans. But by flying the American flag right-side up, he thumbs his nose at those who believe he stole the election via large-scale voter fraud in majority Black cities.

by Ginni Thomas and Martha-Ann Alito

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Sam Alito, who I do not support, and Sam Alito's wife, who I also do not support, have every right to show support for 'Stop the Steal', which I also do not support.

by Glenn Greenwald

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Opinion | I am a closeted gay man with a soft job who is completely controlled by my wife. Here's why we need to bring back traditional masculinity.

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The NFL’s Harrison Butker wants to save American masculinity. We should listen to him, while trying to block out that he’s a kicker.

by Ross Douthat

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Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito flew a MAGA “Stop the Steal” flag in the days after January 6th. Lost in the media uproar: He also took it down.

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Opinion | Justice Alito needs to apologize for flying a Stop the Steal flag. Democrats need to apologize for giving him vibes that the election was stolen.

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Martha My Dear

Little piggie Sam Alito said he wanted a revolution in 2020. Has his honey pie made him even crazier than Yoko made John?

by Maureen Dowd

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It shows how feminized our country has become that icons of masculinity like field goal kickers and golfers are being attacked like this.

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Having mastered toilet paper supply chain logistics, submarine engineering, gerontology, and Constitutional law, I will now proceed to explain PGA Championship traffic control patterns and Kentucky’s legal definition of third-degree criminal mischief…(1/63)

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In a private Mar-a-Lago meeting, Donald Trump offered oil companies a massive rollback of American clean energy regulations if they gave him $1 billion. Here’s why a single story on this, run last week, will be plenty.

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