Just done a bit of whittling. I think I made my point.

Today I was given out stumped off a no ball.

As the trial begins, a commemoration of my finest moment. Complete with mis-spelling.

I wish to make a brief statement. There seems to be some confusion over the origination of the phrase ‘Wagatha Christie’. The record proves my claim, and I am willing to take this to the High Court to have my satisfaction.

My piece for today’s Observer: theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

She was still a better Education Secretary than Gavin Williamson.

I’ve got a fair amount of stamps and cash that will be unusable tomorrow.

I’m writing topical TV comedy today.

I must have missed the bit where Cincinnatus got a private jet back from the Caribbean in a desperate bid to become relevant again.

Just imagine 24 hours where you weren’t forced to think about the Conservative Party. Imagine.

Someone once told me to never change, which means that all but the simplest of train journeys are now impossible.

Over at Instagram I have been doing stupid paintings. Due to a number of requests they are now available as prints. Do have a look. Thank you! Artijoke.co.uk

Well this isn’t ideal is it?

A lot of friends are urging me to protect my Wagatha Christie joke. Am I getting lawyered up? It’s all in here: theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

Folkestone has gone Green! This was highly unexpected and very exciting.

This morning’s painting.

Register to vote and then vote just please vote (them out) gov.uk/register-to-vo…

You need to take photo ID to vote tomorrow. A polling card is not enough. Take photo ID! Vote!