Comedy might be the only art form where you can make something bad enough that you might be getting bullied when people support it.

Politically I wait for someone to be well know then I point out that they are evil, I’m also poly and possible neurodivergent

If you’re feeling down remember we are all doing exactly as well as we should be and it’s not getting better any time soon

You coming into work tomorrow?

Crushing tweets everyday for 0-5 likes, that’s how we get rich

🎶hold me closer secret Santa🎶

Just got great odds betting on a horse with seasonal affective disorder

Going to the dentist to get a cavity filled. And after that hopefully they’ll work on my teeth.

Burrow is representing for white guys for Kamala

Eagles fans looking at a fresh horse poop once this game is over

Twitter is for posting well outside of peak hours

Mattress pitchman - “how do you sleep at night” Jeffrey Epstein - “on a mattress from mattress firm”

Cirque Du Soleil is cool and all but I don’t get why all the performers be to have to be cirquemsized?

Twitter is where clips go when you don’t want to post at peak hours

An evil Shaboozy name Bashoozy

🎶Do you hear what I hear🎶 🎶A song a song🎶 🎶Thong th-thong thong thong🎶

Do you think Dr Frankenstein ever called his hog Frankenstein’s monster. CAUSE I SURE AS HELL DONT!!!

Boys night drinking Broseco and watching Flex in the City

It’s been a decade since the president wasn’t a retarded old guy