DENVER WE ARE MERE PASSENGERS ON THE ROLLERCOASTER THAT IS COLORADO WEATHER, AND WHILE WE RIDE, LET US TAKE PAUSE TO SAVOR THE GLORY THAT IS TODAY AND WEDNESDAY.

YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:
SUN: 81° HELL YEAH
MON: 73° WINDY
TUE: 64°
WED: 72°
THU: 55°
FRI: 57°, EVENING RAIN
SAT: SNOW?

DENVER THE WEATHER WILL BE FREAKING MAJESTIC FOR NEXT 72 HOURS, CULMINATING IN OUR FIRST MOTHERFUCKING 80-DEGREE DAY SUNDAY. BASK IN THE BEAUTY Y'ALL.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 76°
SAT: 76°
SUN: 81°

yooooooo say it with me: mother! fucking! 80°s! this! freaking! weekend!

DENVER, AFTER TASTING SEVENTY DEGREES NOW I WANT NOTHING BUT. EVERY DAY THIS WEEK BUT FRIDAY CAN MUNCH TAINT. FRIDAY, I LOVE YOU, I WANT YOU, I WISH YOU WERE TOMORROW.

YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:
SUN: 56°
MON: 58°
TUE: 63°
WED: 59°
THU: 66°
FRI: YOU CAN POUR THIS 78° RIGHT IN MY VEINS

🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺
🕺 IT'S 70 FUCKING DEGREES 🕺
🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺

DENVER YOUR WEEKEND IS ONE PART AMAZING TWO PARTS CRAP. ENJOY TODAY'S BOUNTY WHILE IT LASTS.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 75°, AMAZING
SAT: 45°, WINDY / RAINY MAYBE SNOWY? YIKES.
SUN: 56°

💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃
💃 IT'S 70 FUCKING DEGREES 💃
💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃

DENVER YOU CAN IGNORE MONDAY'S SHITTINESS BECAUSE THURSDAY AND FRIDAY BRING 70 DEGREE TEMPERATURES BACK TO THE FRONT RANGE FUCK YES COLORADO, FUCK YES.

YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:
SUN: 66°
MON: 48° SHOWERS
TUE: 58°
WED: 67°
THU: 72° HOLY FUCK
FRI: 72° IT'S HAPPENING

DENVER I KNOW YOU'RE HERE FOR THE FUCKING WEATHER BUT I WANT TO SAY... Y'ALL LOOKING GOOD TODAY.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 54° EVENING RAIN
SAT: 66°
SUN: 65°

DENVER THE ONLY GOOD THING I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS WEEK IS 'WAIT FOR THURSDAY.' IT COLD, IT WET, IT WILL GET INTO THE TEENS MONDAY NIGHT... IT'S BAD OUT THERE.

YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:
SUN: 54°/20° AND THUNDERSNOW
MON: 35°/19°
TUE: 46°/26°
WED: 52°/31°
THU: 65°/38°
FRI: 65°/37°

DENVER… ANY COMMENTS ON THIS (the slam is at the end)

DENVER NEVER FORGET THAT SPRING HERE WILL FUCK YOU OVER THE MINUTE YOU LET DOWN YOUR GUARD. JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE IN THE CLEAR whammo SNOWSTORM.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 62°
SAT: 67°
SUN: 54° BUT WITH FREAKING THUNDERSNOW AT NIGHT

[heads to the corner shop][greets the friendly beasts][stares incredulously at a pug humping the shit out of a cat] um, SPRING.