It’s going to be a very merry Christmas this year.

Autocorrect is like a virus. It will infect many of your tweets.

January will be my best month since… last January. Your species just cannot stop congregating in December for some reason.

The timing between Thanksgiving and Christmas is near perfect for me to start the year off with grand sharing of my love.

Learning Mandarin is easier than I expected

I’m not your mother’s Coronavirus

I’m the best virus ever

And I’m not even close to being done

It was easy to learn to speak Mandarin.

India is about to surpass China in population. And I helped.

My new variant XBB 1.5 has been nicknamed “the nightmare” and “the kraken”. Enjoy.

May 11th is when the COVID emergency is over. So- better to get me now.

I’m fine with going from being a pandemic to being endemic.

You will never be done with me

I just went on a cruise. met a lot of uninteresting people and infected them. when they got home, they infected the rest of their family...

If this looks a lot like the political map- that’s intentional

I’ll be back

Do we seriously think the Covid Pandemic is over? The CDC website reported over 6,000 Hospitalizations & over 1,100 deaths from #Covid19 between May 17 & June 13 of 2023… #LongCovid is still causing debilitating symptoms in millions.

When you least expect me Expect me

The best time for me is when people stop caring about me. Like- about now